WowKeren - Nama model dan fotografer Indonesia Dylan Sada sempat membuat heboh beberapa waktu lalu karena mengalami penganiayaan oleh kekasihnya. Tidak lama usai pengakuan itu, di akun media sosial pribadinya Dylan mengungkapkan cerita pedih selain pengalaman kekerasan yang pernah dialaminya.

Model cantik ini ternyata pernah menjadi korban pelecehan seksual ayah kandungnya sendiri. Cukup mengagetkan memang. Kisah pilu itu dibagikannya melalui unggahan di Instagram, 16 Maret lalu. Wanita cantik ini mengaku baru sekarang berani bercerita lantaran dirinya malu dan takut.

I have a confession to make, I have been keeping this a secret for as long as I can remember. So much had happened that I think this is the right time to finally confess. I was sexually abused by my biological father when I was young, it's hard to believe that I still remember it, clearly. I knew it was wrong even then and there but I was young, I was afraid and ashamed to reach out to anyone, so I buried it. Growing up with such memories were hard, especially being back home where such things were considered a taboo, that is also another reason why I left my country at a young age to forget about it in hopes I can move on. I can't deny that it affected me greatly. I turned to alcohol and drugs, anything that can make me feel something. I'm not proud of it but it is what it is. I never understood why people look up to me, I feel like I'm fooling everyone. I was a mess, just trying to achieve my dreams and forget about my pain. It doesn't matter how fucked up I get or beautiful places I go, I hated that he is in my blood and he made me. My pain caused more pain when I fell into severe depression, for the longest time I was stuck. I couldn't create, I couldn't move forward, it feels like I'm stuck in limbo. It affected my first marriage, I lost many good friends along the way because I hated myself so much I couldn't accept love and help. I was destructive and I still am. I went through five failed suicide attempts, I hung myself about a month ago, but two people saved me. My boyfriend saved me, he has been there for me since I met him. I was so close but I guess it just wasn't my time again. I did that because I was tired, the idea of dying is such a release from living, coping with pain almost every day. Suicide may sound selfish to you, but if you suffered it for so long it's a different story. The only reason why I'm speaking up now is that I feel like I have to. I'm Indonesian, I'm proud to be Indonesian but unfortunately, mental health is often shrugged back home and it is an issue that is not openly talked about. I cannot stress enough how important this issue is, we need to be ok to talk about it, you should never be embarrassed if you are. (continued↓)

A post shared by ♡ (@dylan_sada) on Mar 15, 2018 at 9:18pm PDT

"Aku punya sebuah pengakuan. Aku telah menyimpan ini sebagai rahasia selama aku bisa mengingatnya. Begitu banyak yang terjadi, sehingga kurasa ini waktu yang tepat untuk mengakuinya. Aku pernah mengalami pelecehan seksual oleh ayah kandungku sendiri ketika masih kecil," tulis Dylan dalam bahasa Inggris. "Sulit dipercaya tapi aku masih bisa mengingatnya, jelas sekali. Aku tahu itu salah dan seterusnya, tapi aku sangat muda. Aku takut dan malu memberitahu siapapun, jadi aku memendamnya."

"Tumbuh dewasa dengan kenangan seperti itu, khususnya pulang ke rumah dengan hal-hal yang disebut sebuah hal tabu, adalah alasan lain mengapa aku meninggalkan negaraku di usia yang muda, untuk melupakan itu dengan harapan aku bisa bangkit," lanjutnya. "Aku tidak menyangkal kejadian itu sangat mempengaruhiku. Aku minum alkohol dan obat-obatan, semuanya agar aku bisa merasakan sesuatu."

"Aku berantakan, hanya mencoba meraih mimpiku dan melupakan rasa sakit hatiku," lanjutnya. "Tidak peduli betapa berantakannya aku atau aku pergi ke tempat terbagus sekalipun, aku sangat benci karena darahnya mengalir dalam tubuhku. Ini mempengaruhi pernikahan pertamaku. Aku kehilangan banyak teman baik selama ini karena aku sangat membenci diriku sendiri sehingga aku tidak bisa menerima cinta dan bantuan."

Terakhir, Dylan meminta kepada siapapun yang mengalami kejadian serupa atau pengalaman pahit lainnya untuk bisa berbagi dengan orang lain dan meminta bantuan demi kesehatan mental. "Aku tidak bisa memendamnya sendiri karena betapa pentingnya masalah (kesehatan mental) ini, kita perlu merasa lebih baik dengan menceritakannya. Jangan pernah malu," pesannya.