[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]
Iight, I'm blowing on that sticky shit
Everybody's talking, bitches stalking, quick as Lawson
When I'm walking to the gym and shit
Everybody wanna get involved with the Dicky kid
I don't even know the deal y'all, I'm just killing shit
I ball like I'm playin the wii
Hit up all da ATMS, I been paying the fees
Being gay about the stems, Dicky weighing the weed
And now these labels on a cleanse, got em saying
We need jews, oh the dude the scoop boos,
Boozing stupid and he rap bruising tunes amusing students
I'm the truth dude
Put some funny shit up on youtube
Now these mafuckas spitting looking shitty as doo doo
Who knew, ya dude got a lot to do
I don't fill them bitches up, but the lobster do
Plus she licking on my nut like it's pasta too
And now that Dicky blowing up all these bitches so compliant
These days dicky gotta cover up his privates
Bathroom pissing brothas buzzing on some spy shit
Man, I wish that my dick was a little bigger
Because I'm in a pickle for riddles about ma pickle
Being minimal, criminally abysmal and literally
Women I'm hitting is cognizant of every centimetre
And I'm meeting bitches who seem to be fucking Derek jeter's
Every weekend, very freaky, don't know what I'm doing to em
These bitches do the type of shit chicks in porn doing
Bathroom beating on my dick, right before I do 'em
Man that's my only chance, ya know
I'm handsome though
I gotcha lady dancing bro

Man ever since I came up in this motherfucker shit been changed
Every rapper getting madder 'bout the funny shit I'm saying
They be trapping, I be napping, steady crapping on the game
And like a rabbit out the hat I'm doing magic with the flames man

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]
Better stop comparing me to Andy Milanokis
Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, man I swear it's so obnoxious
I don't care about the rarity of care-free song topics
The hilarity and parody is not what's got you noddin when I write
On the mic spit, nothing like a white kid
Black bitches even fucking with me cause I'm nice with
Raps, booty big as shit, I'm in it but she quite thick
Crap, from this angle I can barely fit the pipe tip
Like da the white man bright, and me don't bite
And me won't fight, me done watch da dark knight with a cold sprite
And me so kike, kite runner up on da cold night
And me done scrub de body with ton of the old spice


[Verse 3:]
But fuck it
My buddy got a crib Nantucket
And everybody here with a bitch straight fucking
And everybody here know the kid stay bumpin'
My YouTube, Smith up on the Knicks, they subbing... aww.
I just checked up in yo bitch's pussy up on 4square
Mini golfing oh so often you woulda swore I toured there
Break 'em off up in my office you know I record in there,
It's boring there so fuck it
I been caking, don't mistake me for some rapper you hating
I'm actually making the hottest fucking tracks in the nation
Like Satan somehow created some elaborate gymnasium
Packing bowls in stadiums, came from packing the bowl in basements
Name a rapper in the game, spit a flame like you boy can
Everybody know I got it made like a boyband
Everybody know I'm getting laid like a Troy fan
I stay with Trojans on ma shit, ya dig?


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